Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Donatella's Fashion DOs and DON'Ts for June 2012

You might think that an unemployment office worker in Finland (of all places) has no clue as to what is hot and what is not. Think again! I am a very smart lady and I am two steps ahead of you.

Let me tell tell you what is in and what is hopelessly out this month:


1. Long, colorful, acrylic nails

Some of my work mates, here at the unemployment office in Helsinki sneer and bicker. I've heard comments like "hooker nails" and "witch wannabe". Does that stop me? No, acrylic nails are stylish and classy. 
Extra fashion points are handed out to girls (and boys) who dare to try the ultra long and extra wide (!) tips. Suitable for any occasion.

Extra credit is also awarded for glued on rhinestones, glitter... whatever you want - be creative! One day I glued light bulbs on my acrylics, but it made my fingers very tired at work when I had to type out all kinds of unemployment forms and CVs on my computer.
2. Burqas

For me the burqa has nothing to do with religion. On certain days I wear a burqa to free myself from today's strict fashion boundaries. Some days, before jumping out of bed, I can feel that I am going to have a bad hair and clothes day. So I skip all the primping, throw on a sexy lace thong and throw on one of my favorite burqas. A burqa goes with ANYTHING. Throw on a pair of Christian Louboutin heels for extra credit. Totally underestimated!
Stylish & Easy
Tired of primping in the morning? Having a bad hair day? Throw a burqa at the problem. Accessorize with Louboutin heels and an LV bag. Divinely comfortable at the office during the summer months. Wear a lace thong, or nothing, underneath.
3. Single highlights and imaginative hair colors

Here in Finland, I dare say that fashion is ahead of the game, especially in the hair color department. When is the rest of the world going to dare single highlight-dos and interesting carrot tints with white roots?
Ultra-stylish single highlight-do.

Carrot tint with blonde roots.

Working mom with copper high lights. Her husband is a lucky man I bet!

Subdued single highlight-look.


1. Cameltoes

No comment necessary here. Ladies, what happened?
What was she thinking? Calculated move or plain old mistake?

Toni Braxton, what happened?
2. Short nails

No comment necessary here. Ladies, why bite your nails? I don't think it's sexy, Anna Wintour doesn't think it's sexy... not even your granpa thinks it's sexy.
Throw some acrylics at the problem and call it a day!
3. Julian Assange's Hair

I understand, he is squatting in an embassy. But Julian darling, you are in the lime light all the time. Please - get a haircut! 
Am I the only one who thinks Julian Assange could be totally foxy if he sported a dark buzz cut? Why look like an over the hill tranny when you have options?


  1. I think Julian Assange might be a fire crotch. he probably goes for the bottle so people won't find out!

  2. Perhaps if he went with a warmer blonde tint? it's looking almost gray as it is now... Overdose of Silver Shampoo?