Tuesday, June 26, 2012

What Fashion Mag Would You Be Editor in Chief for?

Strike a pose & Vogue!
Sometimes, when at work at my unemployment office, I dream of all the other careers that have passed me by... maybe it's not too late for something else?

I'm usually in awe of French Vogue, Italian Vogue (Especially the Couture Supplements...), but when I read American Vogue I go like.... EEEEEK, I could seriously do this better.

Where do I send my CV + cover letter? To Anna Wintour? I hear she herself told the old editor in chief that she was after THAT job. And indeed she did get it.

What magazine would you wanna be editor in chief for?

Nails, nails, nails

I LOVE getting extra long acrylics attached to my nails. It must be the most luxurious experience of my weekly routine.

Sometimes, it's cumbersome to pick nailpolish that reflects my fashion forward, trendy self and is appropriate for my two careers; 9-5 I'm an agent at an Unemployment Office and during the nights and certain weekends I work as an exotic dancer in several bars here in Helsinki, Finland.

You really can't go wrong with zebra nails. They can be both sophisticated as well as sexy:

Short, all over, black and white.
Long acrylics, with pink and black zebra print on the tips. Very rock n roll!
Discreete, natural looking zebra tips.

Another style that works well for me are leopard spots:

Long, stylish, very haute couture.

80's influenced.

Very upperclass. Perfect for a countess or a duchess.
Or why not go all the way and put fur on your acrylics:

Furry nails. Soft & Sexy.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Neon Lipgoss & Matching Acrylic Nails

What's with everyone wearing bright red lipstick?

I like to match my neon acrylic nails with my lips.

Here are a few inspirational looks for y'all:

Pink works with everything and at all times of the day.
Pink & Black - Rock n Roll.
Orange all the way, all day.
Me last weekend... Yes, I had fun!

Monday Office Blues Inspiration

Ever been stuck at the office after hours? Having to finish some urgent stuff, for the next day? Stuff that is really your boss' table, but he couldn't do it because his kid had ballet class?

Yeah... In moments like these I let myself slip off to inspirational daydreams of fashionable women (contemporary and historical) that I admire.

Here's my selection:

Cleopatra, the last queen of Egypt. Reputed for her charisma. When she finally didn't get her way, in the end, she preferred being bitten to death by vipers than surrendering. How's that for dedication?
Evita, the Argentinian super blonde who saved the poor and dressed up in Dior.
Naomi Campbell. Rumor has it the photography crews have to camp out in trailers. Naomi usually shows up 2-3 days late for her shoots.
Paris Hilton. I think we all have an heiress inside of us. I know I do, I just don't have the bank account to match her habits!
Marilyn Monroe. Blondes have more fun. Gentlemen prefer them and diamonds are their best friend.

Who do you think of, when you are stuck at work, in need of inspiration?

Kisses & hugs,


New Shoes and Finance Minister Cancellation

Hi fellow fashionistas!

Today the Finnish Minister of Finance was due to visit my unemployment office. She cancelled, on very short notice blaming the bad weather.

Oh well, what is a fashion gal to do to get back into a good mood?

I went shoe shopping! Found these wegde babies at H & M for 10 euros! What do you think?

Impulse, picker-upper purchase at H&M!

I love mint green shoes. Notice my neon orange toe nails!

Kisses & Hugs,


Sunday, June 24, 2012

Coco Chanel Got it Right

Nobody said fashionable things better than Mademoiselle, Coco Chanel.

In my imagination, at work, I often tell my boss this:

Royal Fashion: Queen Elizabeth II

I've always been fascinated by royal fashion. And obviously nobody has more experience in this area than Her Majesty, Elizabeth II.

Did the Queen deliberately match her sash with Camilla's dress?

In this clip, we see her sporting a timelessly cut, brocade gown with a diamond tiara on the head. I am not sure, but I suspect that the blue sash that the Queen is wearing is supposed to match Camilla's blue dress.

What are your opinions?



PS. What's with them playing the music in the middle of Obama's speech? Couldn't they have let the President of the USA finish speaking before playing their music?

PS. #2. Michelle Obama looked wonderful! Somehow her look seems a bit more modern than the rest...

Donatella's DOs and DON'Ts for the Beach 2012

The beach season, here in Finland, is very short. If we are lucky, we get 5-6 weeks of beach weather (a little sun and 68 F).

I want to be able to enjoy whatever beach time I'll get this year, so here is my DOs and DON'Ts for the beach 2012. Lets all try and adhere to the rules.


1. If you're a handsome man - DO offer to put sunlotion all over my body. I'll say yes even if I'm already covered.

2. If you're a handsome man - DO bring a couple of extra bottles of champagne with you to the beach (I like Veuve Clicquot). I don't mind if you spray it all over my bikini-top if you offer me a few glasses. During the day I work as an agent at the Helsinki Unemployment Office, but during the weekends I'm an exotic dancer. I know how to put on a Miss Wet T-Shirt Show!


3. DO put on self tanner before you go to the beach. Nobody wants to see your pearly white fat rolls.



1.  DON'T get your cheap beach towel too close to mine. I only do Marimekko beach gear.

Say NO to cheap towels!
2. DON'T pester your environment with your old finnish tango classics CD. We don't wanna hear it. Play something apropriate and family friendly. Madonna's Justify my Love or Rihanna's S&M are my favorites for beach time fun.

Say NO to bad, depressing music!
3. If you're a woman - DON'T ask me who did my neon acrylics and my hair - I'm not gonna tell you my beauty secrets you bitch.

Say NO to inquisitive bitches!

Summer 2012 Must Have: A Pucci Bikini

This summer, when I hit the beach on the weekends, I've decided I need an Emilio Pucci Bikini.

Personally, my favorite color is green, but when I saw their fabulous zebra prints, I wasn't so sure of which one I wanted anymore.




Saturday, June 23, 2012

Best Home Made Self Tanner

I guess it's officially summer time. All the fashion magazines, web sites and blogs are literally littered with reviews for (expensive!) selftanners.

Feel like spending $129 @ Dior for a tan?
For years now, I've been making my own self tanner. My fashion conscious grand mother Hillevi passed on a recipe from her youth. Let me tell you - sometimes all that new lab technology has no chance in the world of beating good old home made stuff.

Here's what you need for approximately a gallon of home made carrot/sugar self tanner.


3/4 gallon of water
1 lb of fresh carrots (with peels on)
2 cups of brown sugar

My own addition to the original recipe: 8 drops of vitamin E extract and 1/2 a cup of aloe vera gel.

1. Rinse the carrots and cut them into thin slices
2. Boil the water in a large saucepan, mix in the sugar and the sliced carrots
3. Let the carrot/sugar/water mix simmer for approx. 3 hours

Delicious home made self tanner.
4. Allow your self tanner mix to cool down and then pour it through a strainer
5. At this point, you can add the aloe vera and the vitamin E into your self tanner. This step is optional and was not included in my grand mother's original recipe. However, I like how aloe and vitamin E soothe the skin.
6. Pour your selftanner into a spray bottle

Any spray bottle will do.
The tannig effect is very long lasting. I usually only have to apply my self tanner once a week. Remember to exfoliate before since all self tanners have a pesky habit of making your knees and elbows extra dark if you skip this step. Applying moisturizer before is also something I recommend.

Before and After picture with my arm. I've only applied self tanner to the lower part of my arm so that you can see the difference.
Happy tanning!

You may quote my self tanner recipe for your blog etc. but remember to give credit and to link back!

Oldie-But-Goodie Hair Styles

I admit that sometimes when I look in the mirror, I miss some of those old hair styles that have been declared "non-grata". Rejected by the fashion crowd and left to languish on the no-go-fashion-dump.

Hear my confession. Forgive me, Anna Wintour, for I have sinned:

The chopped off monastery monk hair. Easy to style in the morning. Makes your hair look thick and healthy.

The 90's boy band hair. Looks really young if you have some dark (or why not blonde) roots to go with it. This exact cut is very flattering for women of all facial shapes. Imagine that with a nicely cut Thierry Mugler suit.

The perm. I admit, I love perms. Makes you hair look great, needs minimal styling and is just fabulous. I bet you love perms too, but you're not as bold as I am.

Whispy bangs. Gives us with a high forehead the option of hiding it, without having to go for thick, full on Lady Gaga bangs.

Office Look for Monday, meeting Finland's Minister of Finance

My boss just called me and turns out my office will be having quite a big day on Monday.

I work at the Helsinki (capital of Finland) Unemployment Office, and Monday we'll have the Minister of Finance coming by for an official inspection/visit. Unfortunately our department has a very bad score for finding employment for the unemployed in our area (though we do our best), so I suspect this visit may be related to all the negative press we have been getting lately.

Being very interested in fashion, I'm running through different warderobe options in my head already.

Finnish Minister of Finance, Jutta Urpilainen
I have a Chanel type of smart suit in mind. I actually inherited my grand mother's Chanel suit from the 50's. Maybe it's time to whip it out of the closet.

My grandmother Hillevi's Chanel suit
In terms of shoes I'm obviously going for Louboutins. I have this pair.
I think closed toes shoes are appropriate for this occasion. The bows are really fun to wear.
As far as bags go, I think I'll opt for a simple but elegant Versace clutch. Big bags get in the way.

My most important accessory, is of course my nails. At the moment I have extra long acrylics with beautiful neon lime green polish. In order to make them a notch classier, I'll go to my nail saloon and have some cameos attached on them. It'll look something like this:

Matching nails and jewelry is a MUST for me.

Look of the Day

I am absolutely IN LOVE with sexy harem kind of looking jeans. NO stores here in Helsinki, Finland, seem to have these:

Can I buy them online somewhere? They'd be PERFECT office-wear for me with one of those pink lday blouses that has a big bow under the chin. Obviously I'd sport my Louboutins with them!!

All tips are appeciated!

Picker-upper Playlist for my Office

I'm gonna be stuck at work all summer this year. I get down just thinking about it.

But being a resourceful gal, I prefer taking action instead of letting the gloom and the doom get to me.

One of the best ways to stay in a good mood is to put together happy, fun playlists suitable for office hours. Obviously since I work in a public, governmental institution I have to be somewhat intelligent about the stuff I play in front of people.

At the same time, the Finnish government has given out directives to it's employees advising us to show a les bureaucratic side of ourselves in our work places.

Here is my playlist for this coming Monday. Let's hope I'll be able to get my colleagues and all those job seekers who will cross my path in a good mood! Don't hesitate to give me suggestions - I love fashiony music.

Donatella's Happy go Lucky Monday Mordning Job Seeker Playlist:

1. Madonna - Girl Gone Wild (Vogue remix)

2. Rihanna - S&M

3. Sade - Smooth Operator

4. Lilly Allen - F*uck you

5. Madonna - Erotica

6. Britney Spears - Slave 4 U

7. George Michael - Outside (I want your sex remix)

8. Amy Winehouse - Rehab

9. Janice Joplin - That song with the Mercedes...

10. Danii Minogue - Nasty boys & Tarty Girls

11. Janet Jackson - One Teaspoon Ain't Enough (Where the Sun Don't Shine)

12. Katy Perry - I Kissed a Girl

Finding a dress for the Helsinki "Job Finding Fare"

For the past 7 years I have been working as an agent in the Helsinki (Finland) Unemployment Office.

I have a pile of literally thousands of CVs and applications that (lazy) unemployed people expect me to deal with, while they themselves receive unemployment money from the government.

I think it's highly unfair that I should have to do my job. Therefore I have convinced my superior to throw a Job Finding Fare, where all these idle people will get to meet and greet with potential employers.

I will be the hostess of the event, that takes place on Friday July 29th at the Hotel Haven, here in Helsinki Finland.

My boss has given me carte blanche for this event. In my opinion, a relaxed atmosphere would benefit all involved. In fact, the Finnish government places a lot of emphasis on trying to get gorvernment agents (such as myself) to present ourselves in a more down to earth, human way. One of my favorite spare time activities is exotic dancing (in a bar), so at this event I intend to show off my skills and to get across the point that we gorvernment workers are not just boring bureaucrats - we are so much more.

I have ordered 12 cases of Smirnoff Vodka, escargots and some dim sum.

Here is a draft detailing the evening's program:


hosted by The Helsinki Unemployment Office and ms. Donatella von Slutthen

1. Welcome speech by ms. Donatella von Slutthen, on behalf of the Helsinki Unemployment Office
2. "Exotic Dance" performance by Donatella von Slutthen
3. Bar opens and hos d'oeuvres are served
4. Mingeling time   
The dresscode is black tie. I suspect that most people will dress quite conservative (this is Finland after all!).

I'm looking to buy a suitable dress for a hostess of such an event (me) to wear. I've managed to narrow down my list to a few items. Which one do you think will be best?

Lovely cut I think

LOVE it! But hesitating a bit with the open back since I am a big girl

Love it. But would have to put in a slit in order to do my exotic dance the way I like to do it

Too costume-like?

I HEART Green Make-up

Dear fellow fashionistas,

as you know I love green. Green furniture, green clothes, green makeup... green everything.

I'm trying to find green make-up that works for the Unemployment Office I work at. My boss says "no crazy make up allowed".

I on the other hand, think I can cheer up all the unemployed people I deal with on a day to day basis, by showing that even if you're in between two jobs, you still owe it to yourself to look your best.

What do you think of this look for an office kind of job? Inspired by Alexander McQueen's underwater collection.

Put this together myself. What do you think?

Friday, June 22, 2012

Dog pedicure

Today I took my dog Arja (a lovely rotweiller darling) to get a pedicure.

I recently read about a new dog saloon, here in Helsinki, that offers acrylic nails for dogs.

Arja and I are very happy with the result! What do you think? Next time we'll opt for longer ones with white french tips.

Hugs & kisses,